I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
