Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
