I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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