But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
