Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
