I am in a vortex of obligation.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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