She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
