exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
