i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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