he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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