Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
