What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
