I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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