Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
