Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
