STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
