Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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