So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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