I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
