so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
