Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
