ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
