Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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