whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
