My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize