Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
