Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
