Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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