The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
