I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
