come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
