I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
