I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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