fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
