Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize