fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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