you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
