I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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