so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
