I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
