"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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