i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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