Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize