Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
