ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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