I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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