Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
