Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
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Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize