I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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