I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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