Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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