Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
