Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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