I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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