yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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