Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
