all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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