if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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