Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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