Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
